Ode to the Heart

“Ode to the Heart” – A poem for Valentine’s Day 2010

By: Brian Wells

You’re always there for me, oh heart
Pumping all the day,
If I’d had pericardial effusion,
you might even sway.

Good health keeps you from getting stretched,
and following Frank Starling’s Law,
A kind word or phrase can affect you,
and even the coldest heart can thaw.

Though in old age you may need a boost,
to help with contractility,
You may feel happy, sad or mad,
or even show my fragility.

I could not live without you, heart
you keep me to my ideals true.
You’ve always been there for me, oh heart,
and I’ll always be there for you.

N.B. To guys reading this, this is not a good poem. Do not put this on a card to your wife, fiancée, girlfriend, etc. That would really not be a good idea. This was written over the course of 5 minutes and intended to be kinda stupid and silly. You have been warned.

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Ode to Giardia

“Ode to Giardia”

By: Brian Wells

You float around there happily,
in fresh water, mountain lakes and streams.
Your gastric side-effects a cause
of many severed dreams.

Of campers and hikers alike,
you result in watery, foul-smelling diarrhea.
And they would be wrong to think,
it was because of a bad tortilla.

Your trophozoites and cysts in stool,
are a key diagnostic factor.
But they’re often suspected and checked for,
after a bloating and flatulent disaster.

With metronidazole and tinidazole,
I’ll know you’ve met your match.
From all my patients you’ll be banished,
no chance for an escape hatch.

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